re: emily

Hey friends,

Yesterday I realised that a bunch of your replies were going to my spam - so I wasn’t seeing them. 

Anyway- in there was an email from a reader, Emily. 

She has some thoughts and questions worth addressing, so I thought I would do it here- because chances are, a bunch of you have the same questions. 

I won’t put her whole email to me here as it was quite long but, I will address her main concerns / questions with my philosophy.

1. “What about people who can’t go on the journey or get away from their hometown due to commitments, family, problems, responsibilities, feeling like you owe a group of people something etc.“

2. “Your approach to business is devoid of the responsibility of emotion,  your statements really only apply to the male brain or a masculine method of engaging with business. I seem to think, if it was this easy, every woman would be doing it.“

3. “Sorry but I do have a soul, and it's not for sale.“

Now, I don’t know anything about Emily except for her name. But I assume she has been inspired by the possibility of travel and freedom, and ultimately independence & personal sovereignty. 

And perhaps she’s taken steps to explore these possibilities. And like all of us has came to some road blocks or invitations into a new way of being & living, that she has no way of navigating. Because like all us, she was never shown how. And so when this happens, its common for humans to form beliefs & ideas, that serve us to stay where we are, because we have no idea how to move forward. This is evident from her questions. 

Lets start with point 1. “What about people who can’t go on the journey or get away from their hometown due to commitments, family, problems, responsibilities, feeling like you owe a group of people something etc.“

Firstly, there is nobody who cannot go on the journey into themselves. And hey, you don’t need to travel the world, to go on the great journey into you. But it definitely fucking helps. Its like personal growth on 1000X speed. So do it, find a way.

But there’s something deeper thats revealed through this question. 

The idea that there could ever be a reason for you to not be the priority in your life. 

The idea that you owe anybody, anything. 

The idea that you are expected to live your life in such a way that it would be acceptable, understandable, encouraged, acknowledged or allowed, by your family, friends, or whatever authority that you have placed above your own. 

This may be a tough concept to receive…

But the way that I have chosen to live my life, is that I am most important person to me. 

I am my most pressing assignment, my greatest greatest project. 

I am the most worthy of my own love and attention. 

There is no crisis, tragedy, emergency, obligation that comes before me in my life.

There is not a person that I owe anything to.

There is no one that I am responsible for, but me. 

I do not have a single commitment that is greater than my commitment to me. 

See the common idea is that you need to be a “good person“.

You need to do whats expected of you.

You need to please others, help others, comfort others.

You need to be there for others to support them through their shit. 

And so ultimately you live your life in service of others, and deny yourself.

When the truth is, you can’t help anyone, anyway.

Everybody is responsible for themselves. 

Everybody is the creator of their own life. 

And just because your family, a friend, or whoever, decides to live in a certain way, you are not obligated to comfort or help them through it. 

It doesn’t serve you, but it ultimately doesn’t serve them either. 

If you want to support the people you love, the greatest gift that you could ever give them, is the authentic expression of you. Is the full you. 

Because when you live in your authenticity, you invite everyone else into the same. 

When you become independent and empowered, you invite everyone else to. 

When you become the creator of your life, you invite all those around in to the same. 

When you wake up the inner leader

When you become the authority 

When you walk forward with courage without regard for how ours will receive or perceive it

You invite all the others into the same. 

You are not responsible for the lives of others. 

You are not responsible for the emotions of others. 

You are not responsible for the health of others.

You are not responsible for the situations that others have created.

You are not responsible for anything but you.

Yes, you can comfort people. Make them feel better. Acknowledge their pain, their supposed tragedy. 

Yes you can give them attention if you want, chances are their pain or problems are the only way they know how to receive attention, because they don’t know how to give it to themselves. 

But if you are concerned with truth, then you must know, there is not a thing in the world that you can do to truly help someone, except for becoming the greatest, most authentic expression of you. 

All self sacrifice, is an alibi for self service. 

A helpful excuse or justification to avoid yourself. 

Because to commit to you completely, would be the most courageous thing that you could even do. 

To let go of everything and everyone else, and to give all of your life, for all of you, would be the most confronting thing that you could possibly do . 

Consider that to receive yourself, you must first release everyone else.

Consider, everything is available to you, as it is to others. 

Some have, and some do not, this is not a lottery, but a choice…

You may say “but… what about this… or you haven’t thought about that….“

Yes I hear you, some choices are more difficult than others, some choices require a greater and longer level of commitment to appreciate and experience, yet they are still choices towards the living invitation you wish to create.

“Obstacles, do not block the way, they are the path“

Learn how to navigate the way, and the way becomes you.

Be aware Emily, when you receive information that invites change, it will always be rejected first.  

Thats enough today, Ill address the other points tomorrow. 

-Jay

Jay Topp is a 24 year old writer, marketer, film maker & self-led educator originally from Australia, now based in Buenos Aires, Argentina. You can see his films here. Instagram here. And his business website here.

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re: sno convethe lmoney VS ease.trneve