the raw truth

Hey friend, 

I want to talk to you, perhaps like I haven't spoken before.

With a raw honesty

That perhaps i am only just beginning to speak to myself with

It’s easy to paint the picture of a life of travel, online business, blah blah

As some Jay Alverez summer day dream

Of beautiful places and beautiful people, doing beautiful things…

And hey, sometimes it feels just like that

But to be honest, while my journey has been beautiful, fulfilling, inspiring etc. 

It’s only a part of the story

And it gives very little insight into the path that I have walked and am walking

So for those who are considering, I do not wish to deceive you, or to be deceptive in the way that I describe all that is possible. 

This journey of entrepreneurship & travel & alternative education & living, has been the hardest, most painful, challenging thing that I think i could have possibly done - 2nd only to living a small life of regret. 

At times…

 I have wanted it to all end. 

I have wanted to return to what i knew

I have had thoughts of ending my life

I have wanted comfort so bad

This journey has taken more of myself than I could have imagined.

And not to be dramatic, or to be some sort of victim, I chose it.

But…

I have been wrong about so many things. 

I have done things I’m embarrassed of, ashamed of

I have let myself down.

I have lied, I have deceived myself and others

I have hurt people that I love. 

I remember when I was in holland in ‘21 so anxious and scared and full of anxiety i could barely smoke a cigarette while i cried to my mum on the phone

I remember sitting on my balcony in mexico city crying for days in the sun, because of the pain of breakup and having to face the world on my own again

I remember the guilt of leaving my 6 siblings on the other side of the world, while they were not in the greatest situation

I remember so many times wondering how the fuck i was going to pay my team, having to do desperate things to get the money

I remember the constant, pressing, aching comparison that i needed to be doing more, working myself to sickness, all in vain

I remember getting great momentum, great hope, anticipation & excitement for all these new big possibilities, for it all to fail and fall at my feet once again

I’ve let go of just as many friends as i have gained

I’ve done a lot i’m not proud of in pursuit of myself

I’ve tasted bitter loneliness

Futile anger, hate and frustration at the very thing that i am

I have been caught in storms of confusion that lasted weeks or months

I spent so much time in vain, striving, pushing, fighting, against my very own self.

And it's not to say this is all past tense either.

Or that i have made it

I would say now, i am only about ready to truly begin

This year has been the most confronting year of my life.

I have pried myself open in such a way that i have begin to see the most hidden parts of me

I have dove head first into my greatest insecurities, doubts, fears, and the big black hole of the never ending “i am not enough”

I have projected the worst of me, onto those graceful enough to let me close

I have failed 10 times, 15 times, for anything that i have got half right

And there’s only one reason that I have continued. 

If it was just for money, i would have given up along time again

It was because I had a mentor early who made it clear to me that online business has nothing to do with online business. And everything to do with me

And I saw that entrepreneurship could be the greatest vehicle for my own growth. 

Growth, meaning the process of life itself. 

And so i'm not sure if there’s any other way to grow a great online business & life, other than going into the depths of what you are, but if there is - i'm not interested- because for me it would defeat the point. 

I have always been the thing to conquer. 

The mountain to climb

I am the heavyweight title fight

The great unknown 

The mystery

It's always been me. 

And that's the most confronting thing.

Growth. 

Growth is the process of life itself. 

So to be involved in growth, is to be engaged with life.

And that's why i am here

Because the most meaningful thing that i could ever do, would be to continue the journey of the elevation of what i am

An unavoidable part of that journey is the sharing, and holding space for others with the same goal- it's one of the greatest ways to enrich this path. 

It’s become so clear to me this week, that the real reason I am here, and the real reason I am creating what I am creating, and the reason that i am writing to you…

Is to facilitate the process of growth through business education & entrepreneurship.

Firstly, for me.

And an important part of that is sharing it with you.

I am grateful for the man who is holding space for me through this process right now- it wouldn’t be possible any other way. 

And it's a big reason why I wrote my books. 

And why I put together the Drop Out & Travel Implementation group. 

Because I don’t think it's possible to make it on this journey, without someone a few steps ahead to hold the space for you, to encourage you, to let you know as you jump off the cliff... that it's all perfect, all divine.

The adventure always calls,

-Jay

DROP OUT & TRAVEL

PS. If you want to join us on this great journey.. You can sign up here & I'll drop you in the whatsapp group.

Jay Topp is a 24 year old writer, marketer, film maker & self-led educator originally from Australia, now based in Buenos Aires, Argentina. You can see his films here. Instagram here. And his business website here.

PS. if you refer a friend to this newsletter, you’ll be put on a short list that will receive early access to the films i make, the book i’m writing, in person meet-ups and other cool stuff coming. use the link below to invite (the person needs to confirm their subscription via email).

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